somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
