Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
