She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
