Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
