He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
false alarm. still invincible.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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