You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
