lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
