Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
