I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
