I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
