I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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