Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
