Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
