Having a random hookup so left but love u
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
