she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
