Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pants are for mortals
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
