Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
