My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
