Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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