It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
