I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
