I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
