His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
