wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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