Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mom said you looked used
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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