Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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