sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
