My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
