Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
