I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
