I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
