I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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