dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
