if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
