Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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