Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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