I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
