awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
