So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize