I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
