The maid of honor just puked.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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