the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
