i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
