hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
