I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
