Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
