it was like his penis was on wheels.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
