We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
As shirtless as possible
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
