I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
