Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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