i permit you to call me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
