I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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