weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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